He’s done it a hundred times before, but for some reason, this time it really bothered me. I wanted to walk up to him, look him in the eye, and tell him that the next time he insulted my mother, he would regret it.

He’s always doing that.

Throwing insults around like they’re no big deal. I’ve heard my stepfather call my mom a lot of things.

Idiot, moron, stupid, bitch.

But do you know what I’ve never heard him call her?

Beautiful, or pretty, or the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

My mom and my stepfather have been married for about 12 years so far, he’s been with us since I was around four. He’s not a bad person, he’s never walked out on us, and he loves me and my sister and acknowledges us as his own. He would never hit a woman, or a child. 

But sometimes he can get pretty verbally aggressive. What’s sad is that he doesn’t realize it.

I’ve always disregarded this fact. It was just him being him. I thought my mom was used to it, up until about a month ago.

My stepfather was ragging on to me about my car, again. I just sat there and ignored it, blocking him out as one would do a fly. But this time, my mom lost it. Luckily, my friend and I got out just before things got really bad. When I got home, I was informed that my mom got quite physical, throwing things and hitting him. On my way back out, I found her on the steps, having a smoke. I told her I loved her, and that she didn’t have to defend me like that, because I could handle his constant annoyances. When I looked at her face, my heart shattered.

My mom is a beautiful, loving woman, who’s always welcoming people into her home, and always pushing her kids to do their best. She hides her age well through her smile. 

But seeing her face that day, I saw her age show through, she looked tired and depressed. People say there’s nothing more depressing than seeing your mother cry. But what I saw, for the first time in my life, was pure unhappiness. I can’t even think about it without losing it.

When you’re a kid, everything works out, The bad guys get whats coming, the good people get the best things in life, and everyone loves each other.

But when you grow up, you realize things suck, and you have to make the best out of what you have. I was basically told that if it weren’t for the financial stability, my mom wouldn’t be with my step father. It wasn’t so she could have money to go shopping and spend at bingo. It was for her daughters, so they could grow up in a stable environment and hopefully make something of themselves so they wouldn’t have to face the hardships that she faced.

I asked her if she loved my stepfather. She paused, then said yes.

I still don’t know if I believe her.

Ever since that day, I’ve been sensitive to just about anything that my stepfather says to my mom. I keep feeling this urge to stand up for her. I want to protect her, and I want her to be happy. She tells me that my sister and I are what makes her happy. But every woman deserves a man that will hold her, and protect her, and let her know just how special she is.

My mother deserves to be put on a fucking pedestal just for how amazing she is. And I hope that either my stepfather will come to realize this someday, or she finds a man that will already know it.

I’d be ruined without my mom. I know that the day will come someday when she’ll be gone, but I pray to God that she’ll be with someone who makes her truly happy by that time.

I don’t know why I’m posting this, I guess I just have way to many emotions that’s been bottled up inside if me for so long. Or maybe I just want someone to tell me that I’m right, and that this is a realistic desire. Or vice versa. I don’t know. I just needed it out of my system.

Thanks for reading.